non sufficit

identify your problem.
categorize by level of difficulty.
confront it.
resolve to a solution.
change previous methods.
adapt yourself.
repeat when necessary.

this process is said to be necessary to solve any problem one might have in life. we use it all the time consciously or subconsciously. sometimes it’s not enough. sometimes more is needed. why can't we leave problems or moments of difficulty/weakness that we have already tried to tackle lie in the past? why must we always drag them to the forefront so they can be constant reminders of failure? we live in denial and our delusional states to cope with this failure. fantasy becomes better than reality to us and we would rather choose the fantasy. it's not that we don't know the truth. of course we do since we have already tackled the problem. but instead of moving on, we rationalize it to fit the way we want the world to be. we fall farther into that something unnatural that will and can never be. this human coping factor destroys our own sense of what it means to be human. all we see is this new other world that is not true, that can never exist.
 

we use these processes all the time. think of descartes and his four point method. divide problems into parts. rank with level of difficulty. take copious enumerations. don't take anything as true unless you know it to be evidently so. this last part is what gets many of us into trouble. we don't believe that something is true unless we see it for ourselves. we may believe to know the truth to the core of our very soul based on just instinct and emotion, but unless we have hard proof or eye witness the event ourselves, we fall back on rationalization to cope with the loss of ourselves. we don't want to live in the world where we are not enough to fill the solution to the problem, where we can't have all that we want. we don't want a world we can't shape and control ourselves.

i am not bound by anything but my own mind. but my mind is a prison within itself. i am trapped with its emotions and dreams that will inevitably never be. no matter how much prayer one does, what wasn't meant to happen can not be brought into existence by pure will alone. even when we have nothing else to lose, we wait....and hope.

it is almost as if we compare flying versus falling:
when we fly, we obtain freedom.
when we fall, we are constrained by gravity.
when one falls , it happens mostly by choice.
a human can not fly alone in this world while alive.
hence it must follow that falling precedes flying, because existence precedes nonexistence.

there is nothing we can do to change this. we can die trying, but it doesn't have to take that much to see the truth of the matter.

i have fallen so far, i can not see my way back to you.......