Tuesday, February 15, 2005

pressio

have you ever been in a crowd of people and felt lost, alone, confused? many of us feel like this. we feel empty even while surrounded by friends and family. it is nothing that we have done; it is just something that happens to us when we are lonely. and of all days, this is the loneliest of days for people who have no one to share themselves with. it is not valentine's day but single's awareness day, when you see all the people in that crowd connect with everyone but you.

sometimes people are just serious. there is no reason for them to be upset. they are just here, working alone in the hopes that they will finish soon. but to the unsuspecting bystander, it looks as if that person is actually not themselves and is in some kind of unstable state. how do the bystanders know what the normal behavior is for them? those observers assume that every person is happy and that everyone is full of life. but maybe they are wrong. maybe the real truth is that these moments are actually the unstable, emotional outbreaks that happen every so often and that the sad, serious demeanor is the true state of mind. we find ourselves questioning who we are and where we came from, but the truer questions that are seldom asked are we are we going and what does the future hold for us?

was there anything in this mortal world that you have ever craved? because you wanted it so badly, did you end up with it? did you fight to win it over to your side? after all of our struggles and hardships, unfortunately, we never end up with the one thing we want. we are left to wander through the crowds until we lose sight of our goals.

help me to love again...

Wednesday, February 9, 2005

culpa

why must it always be the innocent that are blamed for some wrongful event that another offender did? and why do the guilty get to walk away from ever facing punishment? this is the world that we live in; the true justice that is put forth into our lives. the innocent are meant to carry all the blame...

the world pulls us in every direction all at once, and it can not be stopped. one small step is taken and then you are falling down a hill unable to affect the world around you anymore. the horizon is shifted and your head is spinning; you are losing control of everything. if you are lucky, you can find something to concentrate your eyes on, and it steadies the descent downwards. it becomes bearable and not chaotic anymore. you can regain focus and pull yourself up when you reach the bottom.

but what if you didn't have that point to concentrate on? well everything becomes very blurry and out of view. you still tumble down the hill and everything just gets more confusing. you think that you can gain control and that you know what is going on, but once you reach the bottom, when you try to stand up by yourself, you start to spin around and dizziness consumes you. most likely, you will only fall down again.

what of the lady justice and her wonderful blindfold? here in reality she is pulling the blind fold down with one hand and peering out through one eye. Any judgement we make is biased. we do things out of our own reactions to certain events. we also decide on how to act by the influences of family and friends. someone once said that before we think of others, we must first reach inside and do what is best for ourselves. as a person living in this world full of other human beings, this statement can not be true. knowing what happens when we look to only what is good for a few, how can we just forget about the ones hurt in the aftermath? we should look to humanity and see what should be done to protect the community before we look to protect ourselves. if we just do what is good for ourselves and the community is destroyed then was that such a good choice afterall?

doing as what other people tell you is right, doing what you feel is right, and trying to do what is right for everyone else become totally different events. we are never sure which road is the right one, but we always have to choose one. we can't just stand on the path forever contemplating which direction to go. eventually, you will have to move down the road whether it be to the left, down the center, or to the right. Some may say this was the wrong choice and others will praise you. but what do you feel deep down inside? what does the truths of truths say to you? that is where you know the validity of the decision and of your chosen path.

so in essence, yes, the innocent must carry the blame. if we don't choose the path that is right and try to help our fellow human beings then we have no right to be called a member of the human race. we are not bound to this world for so long that the individual matters most. if we are to truly succeed and find the path of happiness within our lives, it is a sure thing that it will involve the greater good. if the innocent do not bear the cross and take the scorn of others for their truthful actions, then this world is lost. the guilty won't stand up and face their crimes. we can not expect them to do that.

honestly look deep inside. do you see what pain really is? do you know suffering? we really don't know if that is what we feel or if it is our own selfishness that overwhelms us. no one is innocent from their crimes. we are all guilty. we are not clean. we are just as hateful and spiteful as those that we dislike and spite.

we are all the same.