why do we feel empty without love? why do we yearn to have something that can not always be given? especially from people who don't think we exist or who don't care at all? there has always been, to some degree, an emptiness filling in every space within ourselves. some who can't find love try to cope with it by filling themselves with substitutes that are not as good as the real thing. others close themselves from the world and lock their hearts in steel boxes, burying the key far into the ground where no one may reach it. why must the loveless succumb to such measures to satisfy the craving for love? where did this desperate search begin? why does it make us want to cry all night wondering when the world will go away and leave us alone? but the emptiness never answers. it looms over everything and beakons the heart to grow cold and small, while the soul tries to help it survive. seeing him have fun with her. watching friends bloom in new love. listening to others tell you that it is really not worth the trouble. "it doesn't matter, this 'being in love' feeling. it won't make you truly happy." yea, right. those that spout these words are already in love. they can dismiss it just as easily because they have it and don't have to worry about losing it. we who have never had the pleasure, of having someone love us of their own free will, will never know the complete serenity of the state of fulfillment. someone said "if we don't ever feel the beauty of love, then we will never need to feel the sorrows of loss." but isn't it our decision to take this risk? wouldn't we be glad to take the chance that maybe we could find the other half of ourselves and be completely enriched? who makes this decision already for us? who commanded that we live in complete and utter desperation?
it's not fair.
Friday, June 10, 2005
Sunday, May 22, 2005
optio
why is everything the way it is? why do some people get such great opportunities and others do not? why do some fight hard just to live and others take everything that they have for granted? one person is no more special than the next. we all need oxygen, water, and shelter to survive. yet some have more than others. this could just come down to the simple fact that this "more" is the many choices in which they can live their lives. why can't we all just choose our own path and not have only one offered to us? we all have the potential to become better than ourselves but only a few get the chance to ever try. why?
i see the limitless possibilities for one person denied just because they are only human and humans make mistakes. but we judge each other so quickly on these mistakes and label our friends, families, coworkers, acquaintances, anyone with names and say they are unworthy of choice. why isn't one individual, who has the chance to be unfortunate in the way the system works and ends up at the bottom, able to say "return to sender", exchanging her life of one path for one of many choices? we don't envy the rich for their possessions or their money or their illicit affairs. well, maybe some do. but deep down inside, it is the vast amounts of choice that they have that has been stolen from all of us "normal" people. normal people who live mediocre lives and have one or two possibilities in which way life can go. i'd say if we equal out the number of choices that everyone got, each person could have seven possible ways in which life could go. it would seem in this world that exists at this moment, three of the choices would be bad, leading us to eternal pain and suffering. three of the other choices would be okay, keeping us on the path of mediocrity, while the one left would fulfill us or enrich our lives substantially. if we have have only one choice of a path the odds of getting the enriching path is substantially lower than if we were allowed to have more choices.
maybe we are on the right path or maybe we are not, but if we could choose our path then it really doesn't matter. we are the ones that made it. we will have to live with it. but what happens to those who have no choices, given one choice to follow or else? why do they get nothing in return from their sacrifice to the world? if they survive, they will still get ignored and promises to them for a chance out of their path are broken. they are mocked and kicked and hurt so unnecessarily.
i hope you can fly free like the birds. soar high into the sky, carelessly thinking of the choices presented to you. i know you can survive. you are so much stronger than the rest of us.
i see the limitless possibilities for one person denied just because they are only human and humans make mistakes. but we judge each other so quickly on these mistakes and label our friends, families, coworkers, acquaintances, anyone with names and say they are unworthy of choice. why isn't one individual, who has the chance to be unfortunate in the way the system works and ends up at the bottom, able to say "return to sender", exchanging her life of one path for one of many choices? we don't envy the rich for their possessions or their money or their illicit affairs. well, maybe some do. but deep down inside, it is the vast amounts of choice that they have that has been stolen from all of us "normal" people. normal people who live mediocre lives and have one or two possibilities in which way life can go. i'd say if we equal out the number of choices that everyone got, each person could have seven possible ways in which life could go. it would seem in this world that exists at this moment, three of the choices would be bad, leading us to eternal pain and suffering. three of the other choices would be okay, keeping us on the path of mediocrity, while the one left would fulfill us or enrich our lives substantially. if we have have only one choice of a path the odds of getting the enriching path is substantially lower than if we were allowed to have more choices.
maybe we are on the right path or maybe we are not, but if we could choose our path then it really doesn't matter. we are the ones that made it. we will have to live with it. but what happens to those who have no choices, given one choice to follow or else? why do they get nothing in return from their sacrifice to the world? if they survive, they will still get ignored and promises to them for a chance out of their path are broken. they are mocked and kicked and hurt so unnecessarily.
i hope you can fly free like the birds. soar high into the sky, carelessly thinking of the choices presented to you. i know you can survive. you are so much stronger than the rest of us.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
pressio
have you ever been in a crowd of people and felt lost, alone, confused? many of us feel like this. we feel empty even while surrounded by friends and family. it is nothing that we have done; it is just something that happens to us when we are lonely. and of all days, this is the loneliest of days for people who have no one to share themselves with. it is not valentine's day but single's awareness day, when you see all the people in that crowd connect with everyone but you.
sometimes people are just serious. there is no reason for them to be upset. they are just here, working alone in the hopes that they will finish soon. but to the unsuspecting bystander, it looks as if that person is actually not themselves and is in some kind of unstable state. how do the bystanders know what the normal behavior is for them? those observers assume that every person is happy and that everyone is full of life. but maybe they are wrong. maybe the real truth is that these moments are actually the unstable, emotional outbreaks that happen every so often and that the sad, serious demeanor is the true state of mind. we find ourselves questioning who we are and where we came from, but the truer questions that are seldom asked are we are we going and what does the future hold for us?
was there anything in this mortal world that you have ever craved? because you wanted it so badly, did you end up with it? did you fight to win it over to your side? after all of our struggles and hardships, unfortunately, we never end up with the one thing we want. we are left to wander through the crowds until we lose sight of our goals.
help me to love again...
sometimes people are just serious. there is no reason for them to be upset. they are just here, working alone in the hopes that they will finish soon. but to the unsuspecting bystander, it looks as if that person is actually not themselves and is in some kind of unstable state. how do the bystanders know what the normal behavior is for them? those observers assume that every person is happy and that everyone is full of life. but maybe they are wrong. maybe the real truth is that these moments are actually the unstable, emotional outbreaks that happen every so often and that the sad, serious demeanor is the true state of mind. we find ourselves questioning who we are and where we came from, but the truer questions that are seldom asked are we are we going and what does the future hold for us?
was there anything in this mortal world that you have ever craved? because you wanted it so badly, did you end up with it? did you fight to win it over to your side? after all of our struggles and hardships, unfortunately, we never end up with the one thing we want. we are left to wander through the crowds until we lose sight of our goals.
help me to love again...
Wednesday, February 9, 2005
culpa
why must it always be the innocent that are blamed for some wrongful event that another offender did? and why do the guilty get to walk away from ever facing punishment? this is the world that we live in; the true justice that is put forth into our lives. the innocent are meant to carry all the blame...
the world pulls us in every direction all at once, and it can not be stopped. one small step is taken and then you are falling down a hill unable to affect the world around you anymore. the horizon is shifted and your head is spinning; you are losing control of everything. if you are lucky, you can find something to concentrate your eyes on, and it steadies the descent downwards. it becomes bearable and not chaotic anymore. you can regain focus and pull yourself up when you reach the bottom.
but what if you didn't have that point to concentrate on? well everything becomes very blurry and out of view. you still tumble down the hill and everything just gets more confusing. you think that you can gain control and that you know what is going on, but once you reach the bottom, when you try to stand up by yourself, you start to spin around and dizziness consumes you. most likely, you will only fall down again.
what of the lady justice and her wonderful blindfold? here in reality she is pulling the blind fold down with one hand and peering out through one eye. Any judgement we make is biased. we do things out of our own reactions to certain events. we also decide on how to act by the influences of family and friends. someone once said that before we think of others, we must first reach inside and do what is best for ourselves. as a person living in this world full of other human beings, this statement can not be true. knowing what happens when we look to only what is good for a few, how can we just forget about the ones hurt in the aftermath? we should look to humanity and see what should be done to protect the community before we look to protect ourselves. if we just do what is good for ourselves and the community is destroyed then was that such a good choice afterall?
doing as what other people tell you is right, doing what you feel is right, and trying to do what is right for everyone else become totally different events. we are never sure which road is the right one, but we always have to choose one. we can't just stand on the path forever contemplating which direction to go. eventually, you will have to move down the road whether it be to the left, down the center, or to the right. Some may say this was the wrong choice and others will praise you. but what do you feel deep down inside? what does the truths of truths say to you? that is where you know the validity of the decision and of your chosen path.
so in essence, yes, the innocent must carry the blame. if we don't choose the path that is right and try to help our fellow human beings then we have no right to be called a member of the human race. we are not bound to this world for so long that the individual matters most. if we are to truly succeed and find the path of happiness within our lives, it is a sure thing that it will involve the greater good. if the innocent do not bear the cross and take the scorn of others for their truthful actions, then this world is lost. the guilty won't stand up and face their crimes. we can not expect them to do that.
honestly look deep inside. do you see what pain really is? do you know suffering? we really don't know if that is what we feel or if it is our own selfishness that overwhelms us. no one is innocent from their crimes. we are all guilty. we are not clean. we are just as hateful and spiteful as those that we dislike and spite.
we are all the same.
the world pulls us in every direction all at once, and it can not be stopped. one small step is taken and then you are falling down a hill unable to affect the world around you anymore. the horizon is shifted and your head is spinning; you are losing control of everything. if you are lucky, you can find something to concentrate your eyes on, and it steadies the descent downwards. it becomes bearable and not chaotic anymore. you can regain focus and pull yourself up when you reach the bottom.
but what if you didn't have that point to concentrate on? well everything becomes very blurry and out of view. you still tumble down the hill and everything just gets more confusing. you think that you can gain control and that you know what is going on, but once you reach the bottom, when you try to stand up by yourself, you start to spin around and dizziness consumes you. most likely, you will only fall down again.
what of the lady justice and her wonderful blindfold? here in reality she is pulling the blind fold down with one hand and peering out through one eye. Any judgement we make is biased. we do things out of our own reactions to certain events. we also decide on how to act by the influences of family and friends. someone once said that before we think of others, we must first reach inside and do what is best for ourselves. as a person living in this world full of other human beings, this statement can not be true. knowing what happens when we look to only what is good for a few, how can we just forget about the ones hurt in the aftermath? we should look to humanity and see what should be done to protect the community before we look to protect ourselves. if we just do what is good for ourselves and the community is destroyed then was that such a good choice afterall?
doing as what other people tell you is right, doing what you feel is right, and trying to do what is right for everyone else become totally different events. we are never sure which road is the right one, but we always have to choose one. we can't just stand on the path forever contemplating which direction to go. eventually, you will have to move down the road whether it be to the left, down the center, or to the right. Some may say this was the wrong choice and others will praise you. but what do you feel deep down inside? what does the truths of truths say to you? that is where you know the validity of the decision and of your chosen path.
so in essence, yes, the innocent must carry the blame. if we don't choose the path that is right and try to help our fellow human beings then we have no right to be called a member of the human race. we are not bound to this world for so long that the individual matters most. if we are to truly succeed and find the path of happiness within our lives, it is a sure thing that it will involve the greater good. if the innocent do not bear the cross and take the scorn of others for their truthful actions, then this world is lost. the guilty won't stand up and face their crimes. we can not expect them to do that.
honestly look deep inside. do you see what pain really is? do you know suffering? we really don't know if that is what we feel or if it is our own selfishness that overwhelms us. no one is innocent from their crimes. we are all guilty. we are not clean. we are just as hateful and spiteful as those that we dislike and spite.
we are all the same.
Sunday, January 30, 2005
olim
the past. the memories of life that are long gone; details of events that only drift around in a haze of confusion about their existence in the first place. however painful, they do surface, at some point when you are ready to forget and move on. they come back full force at some hint of familiarity of the incidents that surrounded them. why are we allowed to remember the pain and sorrow of the journey thus far? is it to make us understand the mistakes and make us stronger by learning from them? but we are not strong. we are not powerful. we are not risk-takers. aren't we all scared and alone in this crazy, mixed-up world?
and just by this fact aren't we not alone? we may feel dead to it all, thinking that no one will miss our insignificant selves, but there is always someone who will care. we can't waste life when it is such a precious commodity.
we have life and we are alive. we fight for our survival everyday and we don't give up. we may not belong to any group or may not be the coolest people around, but we have free will. we have the choice to stand up and face what we fear head on. we can choose to hold onto the things in the present and struggle to never let them go. our future is never determined by others. we shape it and turn it into the ugly monster or the beautiful bird that it will become. we have hope that everything will turn out okay and that it will be able to take us into the world that we have always wanted to be in.
we are human and by that understanding alone, we are fallible creatures. we are not perfect. but we can protect ourselves by helping those that need it and showing them the way to make their own beautiful bird. if we have someone special enough to do this for us, we shouldn't bite her tender hand. we need to accept the mistakes, accept the wrongs, and take the hand that was offered to pull us out of the dark. we can change.
i hope that you choose life....
and just by this fact aren't we not alone? we may feel dead to it all, thinking that no one will miss our insignificant selves, but there is always someone who will care. we can't waste life when it is such a precious commodity.
we have life and we are alive. we fight for our survival everyday and we don't give up. we may not belong to any group or may not be the coolest people around, but we have free will. we have the choice to stand up and face what we fear head on. we can choose to hold onto the things in the present and struggle to never let them go. our future is never determined by others. we shape it and turn it into the ugly monster or the beautiful bird that it will become. we have hope that everything will turn out okay and that it will be able to take us into the world that we have always wanted to be in.
we are human and by that understanding alone, we are fallible creatures. we are not perfect. but we can protect ourselves by helping those that need it and showing them the way to make their own beautiful bird. if we have someone special enough to do this for us, we shouldn't bite her tender hand. we need to accept the mistakes, accept the wrongs, and take the hand that was offered to pull us out of the dark. we can change.
i hope that you choose life....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)