like some grand river, widening toward the sea,
quietly and grandly, silently and deep
life joined eternity.
[s.t. coleridge]
Sunday, May 20, 2012
aeternitas
like some grand river, widening toward the sea,
quietly and grandly, silently and deep
life joined eternity.
[s.t. coleridge]
Monday, December 5, 2011
non sum ibi
do not stand at my grave and weep..
i am not there. i do not sleep.
i am a thousand winds that blow,
i am the diamond glints on snow.
i am the sunlight on ripened grain,
i am the gentle autumn rain.
when you awake in the morning's hush
i am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
i am the soft star-shine at night.
do not stand at my grave and cry..
i am not there. i did not die.
[mary frye]
i am not there. i do not sleep.
i am a thousand winds that blow,
i am the diamond glints on snow.
i am the sunlight on ripened grain,
i am the gentle autumn rain.
when you awake in the morning's hush
i am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
i am the soft star-shine at night.
do not stand at my grave and cry..
i am not there. i did not die.
[mary frye]
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
spes
what distinguishes human beings from animals? at first it would seem as if there is no difference. humans fight with each other. they desire satisfaction of carnal needs and depend on natural instincts to survive. the human being on the physical side of things does look pretty much like an animal.
what about the intellectual side? humans learn from their mistakes. they question their world. yet these are all things that animals have been seen to exhibit as well. just look at any of the PETA videos that study the nature of animals. sure it's biased towards their goals but it is hard to deny the observations within it. i used to think that the difference between animals and humans was that we ask 'why'. why do we exist? why do things work as they do? animals don't seem to exhibit these existential ponderings, but we have no way of measuring or quantifying it. we can't understand their language nor can we listen to their thoughts. so it is just a guess. animals seem to just exist and to do whatever it is that they need to exist. they don't seem to stop and question why it is that they do what they do. but maybe this can be seen in the animal who challenges the alpha male for leadership of the pack. that challenger overthrew the status quo in order to change things as they were. if animals were complacent beings that didn't wonder why, then why would they challenge the status quo? maybe it is all based on carnal needs...
i think that what differentiates humans from animals is hope. we humans hope all the time. we hope for a better life. we hope for love. we hope for happiness. even when a situation begs for no hope at all, we continue to hope against all odds. we hope when we know we shouldn't. we hope that there is meaning to the joy and misery in our lives. we hope that there is something greater than us out there. animals don't hope. they act in order to get what they need.
maybe it's because humans desire more than they should. is it wrong to desire more to life than what we already have? desire is supposed to lead to suffering and to end suffering we need to end desiring. the author of 'buddha's brain' suggests that it is not desire but craving that leads to suffering. and if we take the driving force of craving out of desire, we are left with hope again. hope is what nourishes us and dooms us. but hope is all we have. hope is that small candle burning within us, flickering yet constantly burning. hope is the essense of humanity. it is the breath of the holy spirit within us. it is our guide and our burden.
yet what of the hopeless? i don't think there is such a thing. when someone is hopeless in one particular desire, the hope just diverts itself towards something else. hope can not be killed because it is eternal. it's what gives us life and drives us forward.
what about the intellectual side? humans learn from their mistakes. they question their world. yet these are all things that animals have been seen to exhibit as well. just look at any of the PETA videos that study the nature of animals. sure it's biased towards their goals but it is hard to deny the observations within it. i used to think that the difference between animals and humans was that we ask 'why'. why do we exist? why do things work as they do? animals don't seem to exhibit these existential ponderings, but we have no way of measuring or quantifying it. we can't understand their language nor can we listen to their thoughts. so it is just a guess. animals seem to just exist and to do whatever it is that they need to exist. they don't seem to stop and question why it is that they do what they do. but maybe this can be seen in the animal who challenges the alpha male for leadership of the pack. that challenger overthrew the status quo in order to change things as they were. if animals were complacent beings that didn't wonder why, then why would they challenge the status quo? maybe it is all based on carnal needs...
i think that what differentiates humans from animals is hope. we humans hope all the time. we hope for a better life. we hope for love. we hope for happiness. even when a situation begs for no hope at all, we continue to hope against all odds. we hope when we know we shouldn't. we hope that there is meaning to the joy and misery in our lives. we hope that there is something greater than us out there. animals don't hope. they act in order to get what they need.
maybe it's because humans desire more than they should. is it wrong to desire more to life than what we already have? desire is supposed to lead to suffering and to end suffering we need to end desiring. the author of 'buddha's brain' suggests that it is not desire but craving that leads to suffering. and if we take the driving force of craving out of desire, we are left with hope again. hope is what nourishes us and dooms us. but hope is all we have. hope is that small candle burning within us, flickering yet constantly burning. hope is the essense of humanity. it is the breath of the holy spirit within us. it is our guide and our burden.
yet what of the hopeless? i don't think there is such a thing. when someone is hopeless in one particular desire, the hope just diverts itself towards something else. hope can not be killed because it is eternal. it's what gives us life and drives us forward.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
esse hominem
what does it mean to be human? we all strive to be happy all the time but that isn't the human experience. we laugh. we cry. we get angry. these are all part of the different facets of the emotional human. humanity is unpredictable yet understandable. it is irrational but logical. it is full of inconsistencies and contradictions. that is life as a human being. we shouldn't ignore one part of our emotional life in favor of another. we need all of it to help us on our journey.
why do we try to avoid sadness and anger and confusion? there is a reason for why we would respond to the stimulus of the world in that way. our basic human instincts are telling us that something needs to change. maybe we need to change, whatever 'change' means in that situation. these negative emotions signal us to tell us that we need to fix something to regain balance. besides, we can not understand what it means to be 'happy' without knowing these negative emotions.
what if that's all we experience? that we fall into a pit of despair so large that we can no longer see the way out? where our only comfort is the sadness and anger that we carried in with us. what will become of us then? it may seem like we are all alone, but if we only look over the edge, outside our pit, we could see that there are many other people in their own pits trying to get out as well. yet, knowing this does not push us out into the world. we are still stuck. we all need someone to take the time to extend a hand into our pit of despair. she risks falling in herself but she takes the risk because she knows that she may pull someone out into the light. and that small hope is all she needs to put her hand in, yearning for it to be grabbed. it is the same small hope that the person in the pit has when she extends her hand upward.
humans are not isolated creatures. we are social. we need community. we depend on each other for so much of our existence. we can not hide away in our houses wishing to have life when we are only watching it pass us by. we have to dive head first into the world and take whatever we get, whether that may be something good or something bad. it's the gamble we take. life is full of the choices we make and the risks that we take. if we don't do anything then we have nothing.
why do we try to avoid sadness and anger and confusion? there is a reason for why we would respond to the stimulus of the world in that way. our basic human instincts are telling us that something needs to change. maybe we need to change, whatever 'change' means in that situation. these negative emotions signal us to tell us that we need to fix something to regain balance. besides, we can not understand what it means to be 'happy' without knowing these negative emotions.
what if that's all we experience? that we fall into a pit of despair so large that we can no longer see the way out? where our only comfort is the sadness and anger that we carried in with us. what will become of us then? it may seem like we are all alone, but if we only look over the edge, outside our pit, we could see that there are many other people in their own pits trying to get out as well. yet, knowing this does not push us out into the world. we are still stuck. we all need someone to take the time to extend a hand into our pit of despair. she risks falling in herself but she takes the risk because she knows that she may pull someone out into the light. and that small hope is all she needs to put her hand in, yearning for it to be grabbed. it is the same small hope that the person in the pit has when she extends her hand upward.
humans are not isolated creatures. we are social. we need community. we depend on each other for so much of our existence. we can not hide away in our houses wishing to have life when we are only watching it pass us by. we have to dive head first into the world and take whatever we get, whether that may be something good or something bad. it's the gamble we take. life is full of the choices we make and the risks that we take. if we don't do anything then we have nothing.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
veritas
the truth is a funny thing. many times we search for it, begging others to whisper it in our ears, but once we hear it, we wish we hadn't. we wish we had left curiosity well enough alone. ignorance could have truly been bliss. however, we live in a broken world with broken people. we can't afford to hold onto ignorance. it will chain us and lock us into a single mindset that won't help us solve the problems we face every day. the only chance we have at surviving this crazy, mixed-up world is to open our minds to the many different thoughts that exist within it, deepening the well from which we can search for an answer.
and search we must. there is a lot of information out there ready to be accessed by anyone willing to listen. yet, many people speak erroneous words, hoping to prey on our fears and weaknesses. we will have to be strong enough to wade through these biases sent to deviate us from our quest for knowledge. we will have to think critically about everything we thought we knew to be true and about every new thought or opinion we come across. we will have to learn what we can hold dear within our hearts and what we must take with a grain of salt. we were not created to blindly follow but to use our brains to ponder. we are truth seekers and the truth is hidden somewhere inside each of us. let us venture forward and reach for that wisdom to discover ourselves.
and search we must. there is a lot of information out there ready to be accessed by anyone willing to listen. yet, many people speak erroneous words, hoping to prey on our fears and weaknesses. we will have to be strong enough to wade through these biases sent to deviate us from our quest for knowledge. we will have to think critically about everything we thought we knew to be true and about every new thought or opinion we come across. we will have to learn what we can hold dear within our hearts and what we must take with a grain of salt. we were not created to blindly follow but to use our brains to ponder. we are truth seekers and the truth is hidden somewhere inside each of us. let us venture forward and reach for that wisdom to discover ourselves.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
passus
i went to a talk that explored this idea (or tried to and kind of failed) and i wanted to think it through a bit with words....
one panelist said that suffering came about because of love and free-will. that when we love we make the decision to do so and from this act of free will, when we choose or not choose to love God (turn towards or turn away from), we can either be absent or full of suffering... but this pre-defines suffering to be the absence of God's love in our lives. and suffering exists now because of those few initial humans who decided to turn away from God and the tendency to turn away is written within our genetic code. but also we must "participate in the fall of adam, in order to participate in the salvation of Christ".
so i wonder. if love is the origin of suffering... this seems to go back to the Buddhist ideal that desire is the root of all suffering. what is the one thing we as humans we made to do and want to do with all our being? we want on the deepest of levels to connect with another human. we want that other human being to share with our experiences in this crazy world. we want to be able to connect emotionally, spiritually, sexually, etc. not only with a human but with the same human being over and over again. i think deep down it is because we are trying so desperately to connect with God that it's the only way we know how - by relating to others that look/think like us, that relate the same way. when we try to form these connections with other people, try to represent what we think is subconsciously our connection with God on this earth, we ultimately fail, because we are a corrupt being. we are not God. we were made in His image, but we are incomplete and imperfect. and i think it is in these key points that we put suffering into our lives.
our broken creation full of broken creatures gives birth to and roots suffering in to our world. Buddha was right that desire is the root of all suffering and we are creatures that want to satiate those desires. however where Buddha says that to end suffering we must end desire, i think that although this is a simple solution, it is a solution that will never happen on this broken world. sure, maybe once we are united with our Creator, we can achieve this kind of level of freedom from suffering, but it is our God who will lift the burden from our shoulders. we are not able to do it alone on this world.
we were creatures designed to make connections. loving each other is the only thing that we have in this broken creation that was apart of our original design. that's it. maybe it's definition has been warped but that's because broken love has brought us suffering. we are not able to offer God the kind of perfect love that he can offer us. and that is because we are not God... but we can offer our love to him nonetheless, free will and all that. we are only so capable and God knows that. he knows that we are not perfect and are broken and failing.
another panelist mentioned that in our asking God questions and demanding answers for them, through all that anger, etc. that once the dust settles and we've asked all that we can, we will become closer to God. i believe this with all my heart. God wants us to question him, to challenge him, to try to understand him, all so we can further the idea that it is so important for him to be in/apart of our lives. that we are nothing without him and that we can not do anything without him. we question God in order to try to love him more. the questions we ask are hard ones for us to answer.
i am most certain that when i questioned or even when i was complacent about the existence of God, it was because i needed to stop wandering in the dark trying to search for a light switch that didn't even exist in the first place. once i stopped searching for a light to turn on and i looked around, the room wasn't as dark as i thought it was initially and it actually got lighter. and then i realized that the light filling the room was coming from God within me.
God gives us only so much that we can handle. He doesn't give us any more or any less.
suffering exists. humans can either turn an eye of compassion towards it or turn an eye of complacency away from it (they can say 'oh well, it's not happening to me').
love also exists. we can embrace it and risk everything for a connection with another human that is only a shadow of the greater connection we need to cultivate with God... or we can close our hearts, deny the truth that we know deep within us, and never take a risk...
..or a leap of faith.
one panelist said that suffering came about because of love and free-will. that when we love we make the decision to do so and from this act of free will, when we choose or not choose to love God (turn towards or turn away from), we can either be absent or full of suffering... but this pre-defines suffering to be the absence of God's love in our lives. and suffering exists now because of those few initial humans who decided to turn away from God and the tendency to turn away is written within our genetic code. but also we must "participate in the fall of adam, in order to participate in the salvation of Christ".
so i wonder. if love is the origin of suffering... this seems to go back to the Buddhist ideal that desire is the root of all suffering. what is the one thing we as humans we made to do and want to do with all our being? we want on the deepest of levels to connect with another human. we want that other human being to share with our experiences in this crazy world. we want to be able to connect emotionally, spiritually, sexually, etc. not only with a human but with the same human being over and over again. i think deep down it is because we are trying so desperately to connect with God that it's the only way we know how - by relating to others that look/think like us, that relate the same way. when we try to form these connections with other people, try to represent what we think is subconsciously our connection with God on this earth, we ultimately fail, because we are a corrupt being. we are not God. we were made in His image, but we are incomplete and imperfect. and i think it is in these key points that we put suffering into our lives.
our broken creation full of broken creatures gives birth to and roots suffering in to our world. Buddha was right that desire is the root of all suffering and we are creatures that want to satiate those desires. however where Buddha says that to end suffering we must end desire, i think that although this is a simple solution, it is a solution that will never happen on this broken world. sure, maybe once we are united with our Creator, we can achieve this kind of level of freedom from suffering, but it is our God who will lift the burden from our shoulders. we are not able to do it alone on this world.
we were creatures designed to make connections. loving each other is the only thing that we have in this broken creation that was apart of our original design. that's it. maybe it's definition has been warped but that's because broken love has brought us suffering. we are not able to offer God the kind of perfect love that he can offer us. and that is because we are not God... but we can offer our love to him nonetheless, free will and all that. we are only so capable and God knows that. he knows that we are not perfect and are broken and failing.
another panelist mentioned that in our asking God questions and demanding answers for them, through all that anger, etc. that once the dust settles and we've asked all that we can, we will become closer to God. i believe this with all my heart. God wants us to question him, to challenge him, to try to understand him, all so we can further the idea that it is so important for him to be in/apart of our lives. that we are nothing without him and that we can not do anything without him. we question God in order to try to love him more. the questions we ask are hard ones for us to answer.
i am most certain that when i questioned or even when i was complacent about the existence of God, it was because i needed to stop wandering in the dark trying to search for a light switch that didn't even exist in the first place. once i stopped searching for a light to turn on and i looked around, the room wasn't as dark as i thought it was initially and it actually got lighter. and then i realized that the light filling the room was coming from God within me.
God gives us only so much that we can handle. He doesn't give us any more or any less.
suffering exists. humans can either turn an eye of compassion towards it or turn an eye of complacency away from it (they can say 'oh well, it's not happening to me').
love also exists. we can embrace it and risk everything for a connection with another human that is only a shadow of the greater connection we need to cultivate with God... or we can close our hearts, deny the truth that we know deep within us, and never take a risk...
..or a leap of faith.
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